Young Couples Review of Sandals Negril and Jamaica

Irie mon!!! Just returned from a wonderful Honeymoon to Sandals Negril and my first visit to Jamaica. I’ve tried to put together a good review of what you will see and experience if this is your first time but it is from a young couples perspective (me 25 and her 23) and we are both smokers as well as drinkers - in other words we party. If this offends by all means take your leave but if not then read on.

First off Jamaica is a very poor country. The poverty level is heart breaking - especially for someone who has never been out of the US and lived in Alabama my whole life. I could not help but give away alot of my cash because my heart just went out to these people. We also traveled during the rainy season which means that it may rain a little more than usual. It rained everyday at around 2 and the sun was out by 3 so no worries. Plus the rain is so peaceful - Where else can you dance through a rain forest, tramping down a path eating fresh mangos and singing with the locals.

Jamaicans are very loving people - their culture and life-style runs very parallel to ours but with several differences.

First would be the level of importance sex has in there culture. A Jamaican mans sex drive is very linked to his social status and essence. We had a driver would really offended my new wife because he was talking about how Jamaican women liked to be complemented of there butt and liked rough sex. Telling a Jamaican woman she has a nice "bumper" will produce a very big smile and a thank you. Very strange to me but not to them. We tested this out a couple of times and my wife talked to one girl who said they don’t mess with any guy who doesn't wear a size 12. She asked why and well I will let you figure it out.

Second would be that every Jamaican I met and saw puts everything he/she has into their assigned task or job. They might not like it but they work hard.

Third would be of course Ganja - I would say about 60% of the people we met were stoned 24/7 and they really do place alot of importance on this in their culture. However not everyone shares this view - one woman I met called it devils weed and talked about how it was ruining the country slowly. I would say the truth is somewhere in the middle. We tried 5 different kinds (2 seeded and 3 seedless) and the bud is very good. Very good taste, sticky and dense. One ounce (doesn’t matter how good) will run you $40. The weed has a very mellow high - you wont feel like doing alot. They also sell alot of what is called "finger hash" which comes from the farmers grooming and picking. They take the resin on their hands and fingers after they come back from the fields and roll it into balls. Might sound gross but it will take you for a loop. A pinhead got me toasted and I smoke everyday. If you are staying at the resort (Sandals) get everything from the gardeners (green suits). The only problem with smoking at this resort is you will stand out. We met one other couple that smoked besides us the whole time we were there.

Everyone - i mean everyone will ask you to buy coke, X, shrooms, hash and bud. They will start off by saying I have something to show you or ask you if you want to see what they have. Its pretty funny but .... DON’T BUY FROM ANYONE ON THE BEACH, AIRPORT OR IN THE BOATS THAT WILL COME UP TO YOU. I cannot stress this enough. I know everyone is not a undercover cop but its more the situation this will put you in if you try. Ill give you a great example: My wife wanted to go to Beaches Sandy Bay to eat (about a 5 min. walk from Sandals). As we are leaving the resort the guard says to me "don’t buy drugs on the beach". I thought he was joking. So about 10 feet from the guard is our first local on this "walk". He tells me that he wants to show me some lime green - I’m like no. Well he then tells me my wife is leaving me so I turn and he grabs my wallet out of my back pocket. Now I’m not weak by any means but I turn to beat this guys ass and come face to face with 3 guys holding knifes and asking me for all my money. SO WHATEVER YOU DO - THE GUARDS CANNOT HELP YOU. Don’t EVEN TALK TO THESE PEOPLE AND WALK ON BY.

Fourth would be the driving, roads and use of horns in cars. Now I will say that driving in Jamaica is scary - however they have very few accidents. The roads are horrible and thats putting it mildly. We went on the Riverwalk tour and the final leg is on a 3 lane road that is the highway. I kid you not it was smaller than my driveway and had mountain on one side and cliff on the other. Jamaicans use the horn to say hello and to say caution I’m about to pass you. Speed limits are posted but nobody pays attention to them. And they drive on the left which will really screw with you if you are from the US.

Fifth is the local language - a mix of Spanish, French, English and African. Easy for all the black people to pick up but not that easy for a corn fed white boy. It is crazy to hear spoken and fun to learn if you can find anyone to clue you in on it.

Lastly is the local police. These guys are shady and they really don’t pay attention to any type of laws unless you are a tourist. Then you would swear you have a 2nd shadow. What I mean is - they look the other way alot when it comes to the locals but when it comes to you they wont - so smokers be careful. We made friends with the security guards so they would look out for us and it was no problem but the police do walk down the beach at night and they hide in really odd places. Like one night we came down to the beach grill and they were sitting in the shadows by the tables (left side if you are eating at the grill) and there was no moon and there is hardly any light so you could not see them until you were right on top of them. Remember - your room is always safe and keep it in the safe. Ohh yea - the security guards don’t care but they cant stop the cops from arresting you. What I’m trying to say is the cops are just as big dicks here as anywhere else.


OK enough background on to Sandals Negril -

Sandals is a very interesting place to be and experience. I cannot say enough how much they make you feel like you are in paradise. I could have stayed the summer but you know as well as I do the price is very very high.

The Beach and Sunshine: 5 out of 5 - The beach is absolutely beautiful and the sun feels like it is cooking you. But it is so great - wear lots of sunscreen if you are not tan. Getting burned by this sun is bad - trust me.

The Grounds: 5 out of 5 - Beautiful flowers, beautiful beach and the buildings are no higher than 3 stories. You will feel like you are in a Corona commercial the first time you walk out and see the sunshine.

The Staff: 4 out of 5 - the staff of Sandals has a love/hate thing going for them. Alot of Jamaicans will treat you very cold at first - this because they are treated so bad by alot of people. I said "thank you" to everyone and they looked at me all crazy. One guys even said "Thank you for thanking me". But they did like me after about a day or so and I made alot of friends with the staff who are suck hardworking and wonderful people. Just treat them with the respect they deserve, realize that you are in their country and go out of your way to understand that they are not American and things are different and you will fall in love with the culture and people like we did. But even with this you will get an attitude from someone every once in awhile. I equate it with the reverse racism that is rampant now in the South. No matter how nice you are someone will always view you as a stupid white boy/girl and nothing is going to change their heart.

The Food: 4 out of 5 - the one bad thing I will say is that there is not just food lying around so if you don’t have room service (which is wonderful) then you will be set in to meal times because you get tired of the Beach Grill is about 2 days. However the best food we had was at the Sundowner - Open air with piano music and candle light watching the sunset. Nothing beats that!!! Plus its white glove service and they bring you whatever you want to drink. The Jap. place - Kimono's was ok - I liked the food but it wasn't as good as the Sundowner and the main restaurant is all buffet which gets old quick. But then again it was good to just be able to pick what you want when there are like 50 different entree's. And two dessert tables. And so on and so forth.

Watersports: 5 out of 5 - I have one thing to say - Hobiecat!!! These things are great on the water because there are no waves and you can see to the bottom. You cant go to the island though so don’t try (even though we did anyway) - there is a reef there and you can get stuck or worse. One of the guys said some tourist got his toe ripped off by an eel. Ouch. However it is very fun to bring your own snorkel gear and jump off the boat for starfish and shells. There is so much marine life and everything is so much fun to look at and pick off the bottom. My wife and I saw so many things we had never seen before - it was wonderful. And no SHARKS!!!! Got 3 conch shells and traded them for a necklace and a bag of mushrooms. Interesting economy but whatever - then we turned right back and got some more shells and went back to the resort.

Offsite Stuff: We took the shopping tour (not worth your time), the Riverwalk (awesome) and the Booze Cruise (great).

Shopping Tour: 1 out of 5 - rip off, rip off, rip off. Not only is it just scary to be around alot of the locals at these places but the crap is all overpriced and not worth the money. However it was an experience. I got 2 bottles of Appleton’s Extra Reserve for 17 dollars only to find it at the airport for 14 when I left. And don’t believe what the shop keepers tell you - ask your guide for advice on what to do. But remember - these people all have this pact system going on. One person makes money and gives a little here and there to keep all the sheep coming in - get it? You can have alot more fun taking a cab and giving the guy 5 dollars to talk to the people for you.

Riverwalk: 5 out of 5 - Tony and Milton are the best. This place was amazing but it is like an hour and a half drive through some really beautiful country. But then again the poverty is unbearable. Very sad. You should bring money to tip and drink a coconut. The water is wonderful even though the taste is strange at first. The walk is hard to do because its all upstream and it was raining the time we went but lots of photo op's and really cool swings and jumps. Its started to pour when we were walking back down the falls and Tony started to sing in the rain and jump and dance and we all started in - it was such an experience - makes you feel like a kid again. Cant remember the last time I danced in the rain. Milton picked up some fruit and to my surprise it was fresh mangos just lying around - and it was the best one I ever had. SO WALKING, RUNNING, DANCING and EATING IN THE RAIN - hanging with the locals, smoking and listening to Bob Marley while drinking red stripe!!! Then they feed you!!! Local cooks come and prepare this local dish with fresh sqeezed fruit punch. Ohhh Heaven!!!

Booze Cruise: 4 out of 5 - Captain Devon!!!! If you go please find out his full name and write the US embassy for him. He is trying to get back in the US to be with his family who is already here. Anyway this was a great time. You go with people from the other resorts and all the alcohol on the boat is free (so don’t waste your money at the bar). Now the cruise is so cool but Ricks is such a rip-off. The cliffs are high but i have the same thing here in town and they are higher plus the prices are laughable so I stayed on the boat and got DRUNK DRUNK DRUNK with my wife and then we danced the whole way back and got the whole boat going nuts - too much fun!!

All in all I will say this - Sandals is great and Jamaica is a cool place to go - just don’t forget that bad things can and will happen is you are not careful and you will be fine. Also remember to be NICE and POLITE to people. A please and thank you will go along way. To anyone who wants some more info - email: g3jedi24@aol.com